The old saying ‘If you want something done, ask a busy person’ holds sufficient truth to make me think it’s behind some of caregiving’s puzzles. Let’s consider this further:
1) Many people who become carers were busy even before they started caring.
This busy-ness can mean they rush into caring without preparing sufficiently and are likely to be taken unaware by some of the challenges ahead. Shortness of time and subsequent poor communication might then lead to misunderstandings and unhelpful patterns being established. Despite all their good intentions, these carers can find themselves locked in a battle of wills with those they’re trying to help. Ironically too, despite all the things they are achieving, because these might not sufficiently include things they’d like to do, they can feel frustrated at seemingly not getting ‘stuff done’.
Our half-hour free course Preparing for Caregiving can make a significant difference. It helps people build a good understanding of the many aspects involved in providing care for family members or friends who, because of disability, illness or frailty, couldn’t manage otherwise.
2) For the flip side of this saying, some might say:
If you want something done, don’t ask someone who has plenty of time – they will never get it done. Even if they seem to agree to doing it, in the end for some reason they’ll disappoint you.
Whilst acknowledging this can happen (and might lead to carers giving up asking others for help), we’ve developed ways to improve this and help you be resilient, so as to lessen the likelihood of your experiencing this type of disappointment. Our course Juggling Care and Catching the Smiles helps carers build support networks and identify how to safely delegate in ways that motivate those you wish to involve.
Our aim is to help you find ways so that, at the end of your busy-ness, you know you ‘actually got stuff done’ – including some of the things you wanted to do.
Image published under license from Everyday People Cartoons